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Whitest Whiteness

by hansmole

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1.
Ray of Light 03:00
i look up from under the water replicate in double exposure the light pours out of my eyes replicate in tessellation fold yourself and tessellate your heart's intention lift me up to see my seams pull me down and spit on me when i'm not what i seem a ray of light i look up from under the water replicate in double exposure all light comes out of your eyes replicate in tessellation fold yourself and hope that all light keeps emanating in rays a ray of light
2.
if it's lodged in your throat, don't swallow it down to the pit of our stomach, to be buried in the ground when you get sad, lean forwards, and give it it's own sound the sound will bloom and grow and die like everything over time ray of darkness and if it still has hold there, in the back of your mind in three quarters of a whole, turning whole over time tell it to me, to keep, and i'll put it in mine the ray will fade from dark to bright like everything made of light ray of darkness
3.
Health 02:25
the surf convinced me that the fog is bleeding from the pier she said the beauty of identicals is that they're indiscernible i said so show me the sky and now show me the sea but i couldn't tell between she said that's the exact beauty she means lead me to the beach i can't tell between lead me to the beach i can't tell between she said "this is your health, but i can't help" she said "this is your health, but i can't help" she said "this is your health, but i - "
4.
i am mundane, plain, and simple i am nothing if not little i will decompose and turn to soil a piece of land that's tilled and toiled and from that garden will grow everything i wished for as a girl: a nice guy with a jawline and a car to drive around and soak up the sunshine is there a babe more newly born than me? a clear bell note
5.
New England 04:00
my brother was eaten by wolves in connecticut they couldn't find his body or the yarn connecting it so i went to the garden and dug a hole and that's where i hid when the wave hit when the tide goes out, we'll steal the ice from the arctic and maybe it'll freeze our hands from fingertip to fingertip maybe spring won't come, but i doubt it we'll still all be here when the bloom hits i've never been happier to see spring but i don't think i'll come back to new england again
6.
skipping rocks, and throwing stones: "you're out of towners, where do you call home?" "well, we came from hartford, thought we'd leave the beat. it's so scenic here, oh, we just love the beach" "and here you are, the other side of east. i saw new york once, it didn't really move me"
7.
when you've come to consume, everything that's given to you, dig a hole in the ground not more than two inches round. plant in it a peach pit, the cherry stem with a knot in it that i gave to you on our first trip, down by the lake in cowichan. the peach pit you planted in the dirt has swollen and sprouted, and grown up intertwined with the cherry stem's knotted vine. the branches that match the words said in passing, when out one day paddling, they turned to water and poured away. i melted and was solid again but will you hear your name as it is spoken to you, as the sound moves to surround you? to occupy the space between your ear and the other ear. a place once kept, now kept bereft of any comfort given. any memory of comfy living all turns to water, and it pours out my ears it pools by my body, which in turn disappears everything goes from ripeness to rot but once all of time has passed, has gone by let him who has kept hold keep hold but spirit how i can't leave well enough alone all things passing from ripeness into rot i melted and was solid again
8.
Giantess 03:43
i will leave two lights on one inside my brain and one inside my body my shifting mood will say where those rays will concentrate a luminous beam to rain down on all around me and i'll feel a little insane and like a big ball of energy when i grow up i want to be as tall as a giantess i will hike my own height and stand with hands-on-hips at the top of my body where the beam will tell me i am master of my enormity and i'll say "oh! pray, shrink me down to a tiny speck of nothingness. let me live in the heart of sparklessness, in the whitest whiteness!" when i grow up i want to be as tall as a giantess
9.
Sunshine 02:42
clinging to a rock in a river, hurtling ever forwards, hungry for anything. to explode in mist as the water breaks all my bones over shore and shell and takes my spirit from me and puts it in a fresh body sunshine it was a consumptive consummation, ate all that was given, with the hapless aim of gaining all my powers, but instead was devoured. i'm nothing if not lucid, be gone now, be dead and done. be a bone buried soundly in the ground. sunshine when the light comes to spill over me, will it be a ray or a beam?
10.
Medicine 03:05
i would climb a mountain's height to shed all my skin to molt and be new again and through the trees, a whistling breeze that speaks to me only to me: "should i change my mind again, or take medicine to cure my foolishness? or take it as it is?" when i leave this body to seed will i know that i chose rightly? take medicine

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released September 17, 2014

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hansmole Amsterdam, Netherlands

hi, i'm hannah. thanks for stopping by!

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