Whitest Whiteness

by hansmole

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03:00
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02:25
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04:00
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03:43
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02:42
10.
03:05

credits

released September 17, 2014

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hansmole Victoria, British Columbia

hi, i'm hannah. thanks for stopping by!

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Track Name: Ray of Light
i look up from under the water
replicate in double exposure
the light pours out of my eyes
replicate in tessellation
fold yourself and tessellate
your heart's intention
lift me up to see my seams
pull me down and spit on me
when i'm not what i seem

a ray of light

i look up from under the water
replicate in double exposure
all light comes out of your eyes
replicate in tessellation
fold yourself and hope that
all light keeps emanating
in rays

a ray of light
Track Name: Ray of Darkness
if it's lodged in your throat, don't swallow it down
to the pit of our stomach, to be buried in the ground
when you get sad, lean forwards, and give it it's own sound
the sound will bloom and grow and die like everything over time

ray of darkness

and if it still has hold there, in the back of your mind
in three quarters of a whole, turning whole over time
tell it to me, to keep, and i'll put it in mine
the ray will fade from dark to bright like everything made of light

ray of darkness
Track Name: Health
the surf convinced me that
the fog is bleeding from the pier
she said the beauty of identicals
is that they're indiscernible

i said so show me the sky
and now show me the sea
but i couldn't tell between
she said that's the exact beauty she means

lead me to the beach
i can't tell between
lead me to the beach
i can't tell between

she said "this is your health, but i can't help"
she said "this is your health, but i can't help"
she said "this is your health, but i - "
Track Name: Bell Note (Beach Drive)
i am mundane, plain, and simple
i am nothing if not little
i will decompose and turn to soil
a piece of land that's tilled and toiled
and from that garden will grow
everything i wished for as a girl:
a nice guy with a jawline
and a car to drive around and soak up the sunshine

is there a babe more newly born than me?

a clear bell note
Track Name: New England
my brother was eaten by wolves in connecticut
they couldn't find his body or the yarn connecting it
so i went to the garden and dug a hole
and that's where i hid when the wave hit

when the tide goes out, we'll steal the ice from the arctic
and maybe it'll freeze our hands from fingertip to fingertip
maybe spring won't come, but i doubt it
we'll still all be here when the bloom hits

i've never been happier to see spring
but i don't think i'll come back to new england again
Track Name: New England II
skipping rocks,
and throwing stones:
"you're out of towners, where do you call home?"
"well, we came from hartford, thought we'd leave the beat.
it's so scenic here, oh, we just love the beach"
"and here you are, the other side of east.
i saw new york once, it didn't really move me"
Track Name: Cowichan (Ripeness and Rot)
when you've come to consume,
everything that's given to you,
dig a hole in the ground
not more than two inches round.
plant in it a peach pit,
the cherry stem with a knot in it
that i gave to you on our first trip,
down by the lake in cowichan.

the peach pit you planted
in the dirt has swollen and sprouted,
and grown up intertwined
with the cherry stem's knotted vine.
the branches that match the
words said in passing,
when out one day paddling,
they turned to water and poured away.

i melted
and was solid again

but will you hear your name as it is spoken to you,
as the sound moves to surround you?
to occupy the space between your ear and the other ear.
a place once kept, now kept bereft
of any comfort given. any memory of comfy living
all turns to water, and it pours out my ears
it pools by my body, which in turn disappears
everything goes from ripeness to rot

but once all of time has passed, has gone by
let him who has kept hold
keep hold
but spirit how i can't leave well enough alone
all things passing from ripeness into rot

i melted
and was solid again
Track Name: Giantess
i will leave two lights on
one inside my brain and one inside my body
my shifting mood will say
where those rays will concentrate
a luminous beam to rain down on all around me
and i'll feel a little insane and like a big ball of energy

when i grow up i want to be as tall as a giantess

i will hike my own height
and stand with hands-on-hips at the top of my body
where the beam will tell me i am master of my enormity
and i'll say "oh! pray, shrink me down to a tiny speck of nothingness.
let me live in the heart of sparklessness, in the whitest whiteness!"

when i grow up i want to be as tall as a giantess
Track Name: Sunshine
clinging to a rock in a river, hurtling
ever forwards, hungry for anything.
to explode in mist as the water breaks
all my bones over shore and shell and takes
my spirit from me
and puts it in a fresh body

sunshine

it was a consumptive consummation,
ate all that was given,
with the hapless aim of gaining all my powers,
but instead was devoured.
i'm nothing if not lucid,
be gone now, be dead and done.
be a bone buried soundly in the ground.

sunshine

when the light comes to spill over me,
will it be a ray or a beam?
Track Name: Medicine
i would climb a mountain's height
to shed all my skin
to molt and be new again

and through the trees, a whistling breeze
that speaks to me
only to me:

"should i change my mind again, or take medicine
to cure my foolishness?
or take it as it is?"

when i leave this body to seed
will i know
that i chose rightly?

take medicine